enough

Lately I have been uncomfortable with the thought that I am an American ^ There are so many things that I am ashamed America is known for ^ There are plenty of good things too ^ But still, some days the good outweigh the bad in my thoughts ^ Every time i step foot into another country ^ [Whether physically or mentally] ^ That is monetarily less fortunate than we are ^ I am reminded of what does not bring us "true" happiness/joy/contentment/purpose ^

Take for instance my Saturday morning ^Me and Lauren woke up earlier than we(she) wanted and so we did some productive things ^ Periodically we go through our closets and throw away (give to the salvation army or clothes-to-go) the clothes, shoes, belts, jackets, bags, "whatever" that we haven't used in awhile ^ [Here comes the ashamed part of my American Consumerism/Materialism]

This morning I threw out some shoes
Most of them I hadn't worn in over a year


That's right...count 'em...nine pairs of shoes!
Nine pairs of shoes
That I haven't worn in over a year
{mind you i'm not bragging here...i'm embarrassed}
Before you start feeling the urge to buy me a new pair of shoes since I have thrown all my nine pairs of shoes away...take a look at how many shoes I still have left in my closet



It gets worse
I have to show you two pics to fit in all the shoes I still have left!
{mind you i'm not bragging here...i'm embarrassed}




Yep...25 pairs of shoes
After I threw 9 pairs away
Not to mention the 2 pairs of shoes that are on our porch
That means last night when I went to bed I owned 36 pairs of shoes
{mind you i'm not bragging here...i'm embarrassed}

I'll let Lauren explain her own inner turmoil about our American life ^ But I will say she is the most diligent in cleansing her closet of unused articles ^ This morning while I was digging through shoes she cleaned out one of her tank-top drawers



I can't speak for how much use these tanks-for-the-trash have gotten ^ But I can attest for the 3 drawers of shirts she still has left over on my side of the bed



Needless to say I think we have "enough" ^ I think we could have a whole village come and clothe itself and still have "enough" ^ The thing is ^ I didn't just pick this up in college ^ I've had this instinct since I was a child ^ I stole our pastor's kids G.I. Joe weapons when I was like 6 years old ^ (don't worry my parents made me give them back and apologize)
Not because I didn't have "enough"
But because I wanted more!
More
More
More
Me
Me
Me
My parents made sure me and my sister always had "enough" ^ This has nothing to do with them ^ They were the most providential parents
But when/how/why did I learn that I needed more?!

Whenever, However, Whyever
I don't know
I would love to think that I have learned a new way of living
A new measuring stick for "enough"
But sure enough
While I was at Marshalls today
I tried on a pair of shoes
And was disappointed that they weren't my size